This is a useful 4-part communications process (developed by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg):

1. Observations: Tell the other person the behavior you observe from them that is making you uncomfortable.

When I Observe…

2. Feelings: Explain how the person’s behavior makes you feel (happy, sad, angry, annoyed, excited, worried, scared, hurt, embarrassed, confused)

I feel…

3. Needs: Describe what you need from the other person (physiological, safety, social, esteem, self-actualization)

Because I need…

4. Requests: Ask them specifically what you’d like them to do.

Would you be willing to…

It’s a way to make your feelings and needs known and ask nicely what you’d like from others.

This provides a mechanism to give feedback and work with other people without being confrontational, threatening, dictatorial, or nasty.

When I see you reading my blog, I feel happy, because I need to try to be a good person and good influence in this world. Would you be willing to share my blog with others? ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal and Colleague from Work)

Andy Blumenthal is a dynamic, award-winning leader with 30 years of experience delivering results across the public and private sectors. Views are his alone.

Andy Blumenthal is a dynamic, award-winning leader with 30 years of experience delivering results across the public and private sectors. Views are his alone.