Anger is one of those emotions (like jealousy) that can clearly get the best of people.

Hence, the term anger management!

The Talmud teaches that there are 3 ways to know a person’s real character:

- Koso, Kiso, and Ka’aso.

From Aramaic to English it translates as:

- Cup, Purse, and Anger.

In other words…

Cup — When a person “drinks,” this is how they handle their alcohol and how they act when physically (or perhaps emotionally) inebriated or as we say, “When the wine goes in, the secrets come out!” Are they jumping on the bar, ripping it all off and saying and doing the inappropriate and profane or are they able to recognize their point of weakness and ask someone for a ride safely home.

Purse — This is how a person handles money (and power). Materialism of people speaks volumes. Are they cheap, misery, and narcissistic or compassionate, caring, and giving to others.

Anger — When a person is angry, this is often when their “true colors” show. Do they get mean, bullying, abusive, and violent — do they go for the throat and the kill or are they situationally aware, measured, and do they listen, understand, and are they able to cope well when “under the gun.”

Focusing on the anger piece…

It’s easy to get angry, and it’s also easy to look for a scapegoat and let it out on people that really have nothing to do with why you’re really angry.

Maybe people can’t always address their anger with the true source, maybe they don’t even recognize their feelings fully, or have no idea how to safely release and reset.

In any case, anger is a dangerous emotion if not dealt with.

Many mistakes are made that cannot be undone when people lose their cool (or sh*t, as now seems more commonly said).

Thoughts on this…

Take a breath, slow down.

Evaluate what’s really going on.

Think about whether it’s truly the end of the world or not.

Assess the options for coping with it.

Look for ways to deescalate and resolve.

If necessary, seek help from others.

Finally, where possible be compassionate and forgiving.

And where not, cope, cope, cope — and survive another day! ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Andy Blumenthal is a dynamic, award-winning leader with 30 years of experience delivering results across the public and private sectors. Views are his alone.

Andy Blumenthal is a dynamic, award-winning leader with 30 years of experience delivering results across the public and private sectors. Views are his alone.